Help Me I May Be Falling In Love With a Bald Man

02/2003

“Hair would be nice,” my best friend replied when she saw a photo of a man I dated recently. We’ll call him Dr. Phil. Her comment got me thinking.

A head of hair has never been on my list of qualifications. A sense of humor, most definitely. Kindness and generosity, without question. Intelligence and testosterone, absolutely. But a full head of hair?

What’s it good for, really? When the house is flooding, does a head of hair help? When we’re lost on a road trip, can a head of hair point the way? When my neck is aching, will a head of hair work out the kinks?

Then I realized what exactly a head of hair is. It is hair waiting to clog the shower drain, certainly something I can live without.

Let me describe the two dates on which Dr. Phil has taken me.

Both dates were on Thursday nights. The first Thursday, I remembered to tape my favorite TV program. I met him at a wonderful restaurant with another couple he enjoys. The four of us were amazingly comfortable together, and I fell madly in love with his friends.

I drove home with a certain indescribable happiness.

Two weeks later, we met again, just the two of us. This time, I forgot to tape my favorite show, so in less than five minutes he arranged to have the show taped and ready for pick up near my home the next morning. A sure sign of testosterone paired with kindness and generosity, a nice pairing if there ever was one.

This entire four-hour date was designed purely for my happiness from the very beginning to the very end and – get this – it included line dancing, an activity in which he has no interest.

I drove myself home (I’m reluctant to let men into my home) and called my best friend. You may recall from my last column, we consider ourselves the Mexican-Caucasian version of Oprah and Gayle.

She was unavailable (on a date herself) so I left a voicemail that was so giggly she’s still got it saved and listens to it daily for a little high of her own.

Both dates are dates I would wish for any woman or girl.

While brushing my teeth that night, I realized that I couldn’t wait to see him again. So here’s a word of advice to all single girls everywhere – don’t let your eyes pass the bald guys.