Jeff

11/2004

A friend of mine (let’s call her Ruby) recently returned from a remote location somewhere in the South Pacific. She looked like hell – that is, as much a a tall, thin, naturally beautiful woman can look like hell. Indulge me: she competed on a little TV show called “Survivor” and completely ignored my advice about sneaking in lip gloss and dangly earrings at all costs.

I swear, if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, a little lip gloss never hurt. Add earrings, and it’s a total transformation worth a feature in Cosmo. Try it, I dare ya. Fresh shower, no make up – take a picture. Then add lip gloss and flirty earrings – take a picture. I think you’ll agree, we’ll see this comparison in a fashion magazine soon.

I have a standing motto – if it can be pretty, it should be pretty.

Well my friend ignored me. Her contract prohibits her from speaking about the show, but I suspect when the next season of Survivor airs, you’ll find out how much can go wrong when you ignore simple advice from a friend. I’m guessing (had she listened) she would have wound up winning the million, taking home the hunkiest guy, getting her own line of lip gloss and signing a book/movie deal making the million look like leftovers.

But she didn’t take my advice. She ate bugs for free. She nearly lost an eye in an immunity challenge. She did battle with a bratty little kid from Indiana. My gorgeous, sexy friend came home looking like someone in need of immediate medical attention, a good long bath, and a professional pedicure.

I don’t know how the show turns out but I know this: she met Jeff Probst. Too bad she wasn’t wearing lip gloss. Then again, he probably didn’t mind.