Me and Heather Locklear

03/2004

I went to school with Heather Locklear.

Demi Moore is younger than Heather Locklear. I’m
younger than Demi Moore. So, if Demi Moore is younger than Heather Locker and I’m younger than Demi Moore, who should get the twenty-five year old guy?

But it’s not Ashton I want.

Earlier this year I dated a 42 year-old man. My friends cheered. Then I dated a 39 year-old man. They cheered again. This is, after all, Florida, and I’m not opposed to dating men over 50. But when I fell for Blake; they said nothing.

That’s right – Blake. No pseudonym for this tall, handsome man. He is who he is and I don’t want to change a thing in print or in person.

My friends were silent because they had to be. I have no shame in dating a twenty-five year old man; I have no shame in dating a fifty-five year old man. I was silent on the subject of Blake because I wanted to keep him to myself. Besides, I had
no idea how to explain him to anyone. So here, I’ll try to share him with everyone.

Day One – Tender, twinkly eye contact.
Day Two – We hug.
Day Three – We kiss.
Day Four – He attempts to end my eighteen-months of celibacy.
Day Five – He succeeds. And succeeds.
Day Six – I board a plane and leave him without
saying good-bye.
Day Seven – I miss him like an addict misses heroin.

I left without saying good-bye for good reasons. But good reasons do jack-shit to soothe an aching heart.

I may never see Blake again. But I will never forget him either.

The only thing you need to remember is this: I’m younger than Heather Locklear.

And Demi Moore.