My Match?

01/2003

Match.com is “the leader in online matchmaking.”
~ Newsweek

Match.com has been getting some good press lately.

So, being a single girl, I joined. It took me a while, but I became very adept at navigating the site. I learned how to create a profile, modify it, upload a photo, hide the photo, secretly email a photo, hide my profile, and show my profile. It was crazy and I felt like a lunatic.

I posted my profile in Atlanta since it’s an easy flight from Sarasota and I have family there. Here’s what I learned: if you want an unruly amount of email, post a flattering photo of yourself in a chaise lounge.

I posted a photo and loved rifling through all the
complimentary words being hurled at me through
cyberspace. “You’re gorgeous!” “I want you!” “Are you for real?” “Please by mine,” and without question, the best, “There is a god!”

It was a great way to come home to my computer,
particularly because I was still trying to get over
whatshisname, an intelligent blue-eyed man who insisted his blue eyes were green.

I actually met two nice e-men who will probably be e-friends for a while, with whom I may even have e-drinks and go e-dancing. One Tuesday night, out of curiosity, I was searching through the male profiles posted in Sarasota. I wondered who might be brave enough or foolish enough to post one in their hometown. That’s when I spotted whatshisname advertising himself! Sure enough, he said his eyes were green.

Breathlessly, I scoured his pictureless profile. I
analyzed every single syllable, critiquing his description of himself and his match. I could have sworn he was looking for me right down to the last detail. Then I began to question myself. Then I cussed.

Fate was flipping my psyche from rage to humiliation like a kid playing with a light switch. Being the girl that I am, I immediately phoned my best friend. We consider ourselves to be the Mexican-Caucasian version of Oprah and Gayle.
She logged on, looked up his profile and concurred with my opinion that udeedah was whatshisname.

She was so upset by his portrayal of himself and his
match, she joined on the spot and sent him a couple of intriguing emails. His responses were more than screenplay-worthy and with the luck I’ve been having lately you may get to see the movie sooner rather than later.

I have learned this – if you want to attract an
intelligent, thoughtful, patient man, don’t post a photo.

Gotta run. I’ve got a date with Florida762.