Esquire Calling

05/2004

I have a heart and soul. Unfortunately, neither one is very useful when it comes to men. I have a heart for humanity. I love everyone but it would not be wise to love every man. So when it comes to men, I must rely on my mind.

I also have a body. Not so long ago, the body and the mind were not in agreement with respect to a particular man. The mind, the body reasoned, can always read a good book. The body, the mind reasoned, can do jumping jacks.

The whole thing drove me insane so I read Esquire Magazine. Man, I love a good dose of guy stuff. In each issue, Esquire asks a well-known woman to write a piece called (10 Things You Don’t Know About Women). These women are rarely right.

When I’m asked to write my ten things, I’ll be ready.

(10 Things You Don’t Know About Women)
gg ~ single sarasota girl

1. Despite media attempts to paint you as buffoons, we adore you. We want you, love you and need you. That’s right, need. Yes, I’m still a feminist wonder.

2. When we question the value of a ’58 Porsche Speedster, educate us, pronto!

3. We like the way it looks and the way it feels. We like it hard and soft, we like it in a house…with a mouse…okay, thatwas uncalled for. No mouse.

4. We don’t care what sign you are.

5. Pepper our bellies with baby kisses (and love the movie that inspired the line); it makes us weak.

6. The more you love us responsibly; the more we want to be your sex kitten.

7. Drive like a chauffeur; save the sexy racecar maneuvers for later and handle our curves the way you, and only you, know how.

8. Diamonds are overrated, but a tennis bracelet never hurt. Let me repeat, Diamonds are overrated, but a tennis bracelet never hurt.

9. Often times, tulips beat roses; shop with a reputable florist or, at the very least, learn how to dress up grocery store stems.

10. Be careful with poetry.

Thank God for good books, good men and jumping jacks.