My Wonder Years

12/2005

Just when one guy thinks you’re too hot for words, another will think you’re “not that great.” I’ll never forget the day I learned that lesson. It was seventh grade.

Rob Lowry had it bad for me. Each day, the minute he saw me, the whole campus lit up with the electricity gunning through his body. The poor kid was practically electrocuted by his hormones.

He watched me. He waited for me. He wanted me. I had no idea what I was doing to him but I was doing it just by being me. It scared me. I liked it.

I walked past him in the hall one day and I heard him confide to his buddy, Rick Maloney, saying, “There she is. Look at her! She’s the prettiest girl in school.” To which Rick replied, “Her? (using my real name). She’s not that great.”

I sank briefly. Then I laughed. It’s good to be built up. It’s alright to be knocked down. The lesson in balance has been invaluable in the long run. Whenever a man thinks I’m gorgeous, I’m always aware there’s a Rick Maloney hanging out around the corner. Whenever a man thinks I’m “not that great” I happily look for the Rob Lowry in the room.

Funny thing…looking back, I can still see Rob’s face plain as day. Rick’s, on the other hand, is blurry and without distinction. I’m not sure what happened to either one but I suspect Rob is healthy and happy and rich and handsome and smart and educated and driving a really great car.

Rick? Let’s be candid. I couldn’t care less. Not really. Rick taught me the best lesson of all and I treasure it. I don’t take myself that seriously. Some will love the way you smell; some won’t. Some will love the way you look; some won’t. It’s life now; it was life then.

So here’s to Rob and Rick, wherever they may be. I think you are both that great. But, for the record, I’d only date Rob.