A Splash of Classic

05/2005

First of all, let me just say that The Coca-Cola Company did not pay me to write this column although somewhere in the not-so-spiritual part of my soul, I believe they owe me.

Several months ago, I was in line at a fast-food joint when the woman ahead of me ordered a “Diet Coke with a little bit of regular Coke.” Her order hit me like an eighteen-wheeler. I commented on her strategy. She turned, looked me straight in the eye (like she was about to tell me I was not my mother’s natural child) and said, “You’ll never go back.”

Boy was she right. I’ve become a certifiable evangelist on behalf of blending Diet Coke with Classic Coke. Here’s how I order my pop: “May I please have a Diet Coke with a splash of Classic Coke?”

A splash of Classic.

It’s a way of life. A crisp white shirt. A string of pearls. A pair of good jeans. Nothing beats a splash of classic.

There was a point in time when I suggested to The Coca-Cola Company that they exploit my new-found habit in their advertising efforts and product formulation. Actually, I was trying to get work for a friend (a top-notch advertising professional). Not that she needs the work, but The Coca-Cola Company is The Coca-Cola Company and a resume is a resume.

After a few FedExes, The Coca-Cola Company passed.

A man I date, Cowboy, hates my habit. We’ll be at the drive-thru window and I’ll politely order a Diet Coke with a splash of Classic and, inevitably, my order turns into a ten-minute clarification between us and the scratchy voice in the little box. Cowboy looks at me like I’m a sweet little Satan and calls me high maintenance but I’m not high maintenance and he knows it. I just like what I like, and happily for me, he knows that too.

All I know is I drink more Diet Coke these days than is advisable but I’m happy. Maybe it’s the splash of classic that runs through my life. Maybe it’s the way Cowboy kisses.

Either way, The Coca-Cola Company owes me.