Dixie Chicks

04/2005

My best friend and I are the Mexican-Caucasian Oprah and Gayle – on par with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon in guy world.

Our friendship is so special and fun I’m beginning to think we are the original and Oprah and Gayle are some wacky version of us.

gToo and I have known each other for over a decade. She once went through a bad break up complete with withdrawals that made her look like a heroin addict. I wasn’t doing so well myself and we agreed to meet in New Mexico for a healing retreat.

Her flight was overbooked. She said I was getting married and had to be at the wedding. Passengers took pity on those big brown eyes and someone gave up a seat. One by one the deplaning travelers congratulated me at baggage claim in
Albuquerque. I was confused until I saw gToo’s sneaky smile and the handsome hunk she selected to pose as my fiance.

We dumped my fiance (after thanking him) and promptly checked into the worst bed and breakfast of all time. The flowers were dead and the vase water green. We decided to stay; it could get funnier. As usual, we were off to a good start.

We promised each other total silence on the subject of our exes which can be too much silence for anyone so we needed a soundtrack. Okay, call it a recovery CD. Everyone needs one so I made one. I chose country hits like, “Long Time Gone,” and “He Ain’t Worth Missin.”

As a serious recording artist, I thought about calling it “The Kick Ass Collection” but that sounded too hostile so I settled on this: Good Husbands, Healthy Children, Enjoyable Work, Clear Skin, Fresh Breath, Money in the Bank and Bony Asses.That worked.

We listened to the soundtrack endlessly while touring the spas, mountains, and rooftop cantinas of Santa Fe. New Mexico marked the beginning of a time to which we refer in our personal histories as The Giggles.

The period hasn’t ended yet and as far as I’m concerned it can last a lifetime..